Later, I ran across this article at PJ media. The framework is conservative but the message has universal value: write when written to. Or speak. Or nod. Even grunt.
In her quintessential book on etiquette, Emily Post began her introduction with reference to the Ten Commandments, reminding her readers that the heart of manners is kindness and love for others. To show courtesy without kindness is hypocrisy, but kindness cannot exist without courtesy and respect. To be gracious to others is to focus on the little things, and speaking when spoken to is simple enough — even if it’s through email.
The excuse one often hears about not responding to emails is “I’m too busy.” That’s rubbish. There are too many organizational tools at our disposal to use busyness as an excuse, and it doesn’t take much time to send a brief response to someone you know. Why leave the sender wondering if you received their message? Why fail to respond if not for lack of concern or grace? What are you saying in that moment except you simply don’t care? If you value people and relationships, why not answer?It's not just about manners, though. It's practical. Acknowledgment lets a communicator know they were heard. At the very least, how long does it take to say, "I'll get back to you on that."?
When the response is silence, it can carry any of several possible messages;
- I didn't get the message.
- You know the answer.
- I don't care.
- I'll get around to responding
- I don't know.
- This is not an important matter to me.
- You aren't important to me.
Which one am I to choose?
